Being a sheep sucks!
How often do you check in on how you’re feeling? Probably not often enough. When a friend or a stranger asks you how you are feeling, I’d bet my house and my car, even my life on your answer being ‘fine’. This is an automatic response because along the way we’ve acquired the belief that its more acceptable to respond this way and the truth is we are too frightened to share with each other how we are really feeling. We’ve become more anti-social than we realise and more frightened of what others will think of us so we suffer more, endure more badness! We’ve witnesses our elders respond to greetings this way, our parents, our teachers, in fact most people we encounter on a daily basis, it’s a ‘normal’ response. All this time we have been lying to people because what we are actually doing is protecting our feelings from either judgement or the belief that expressing our true feelings shows as a weakness. It doesn’t matter how you respond though because we are always being judged anyway, so what’s to fear? Here’s my judgement: The majority of us are actually behaving more like sheep than humans. We’re scared to be different, even emotionally. Part of me believes this might be why so many people have poor mental health. We are too busy competing or comparing ourselves with each other that we are missing the actual turmoil people are dealing with on a mental and emotional scale. When are we going to learn to speak up. We are making ourselves ill. Truthfully, bad or good, isn’t it more freeing to be honest about how we feel? Doesn’t that make us more interesting anyway? ‘Fine’ is boring, fine is not good, in fact it’s quite negative. Fine is like being without development. A ‘how are you‘ greeting seems to be encouraging people to lie and hide from how they really feel. Wouldn’t it be nice to reply with an answer like ‘I’m Great’ or ‘I’ve never been better’ and actually mean it more consistently?
Our feelings are sending us a signal that we are either in a positive stage of life or a negative one. Now we all know that negative emotions feel bad and positive emotions feel good right but why are so many of us plodding along, just putting up with ‘fine’ … or less??? This is no way to live. Why are you telling people you are fine when actually, you may be elated? Or maybe you could do with crying it all out? There is no shame in any of these emotions. We are human, all humans have this! Most just choose to hide it or keep it all in. Let me reassure you that you have a choice everyday about how you want to feel. Every morning we get to start fresh. There may be some steps taken in order to make the choice to feel good, some are more difficult and take more effort than others but what you find is that the bigger the step to happiness, the more rewarding the result. We just need to make feeling good a priority. Who wants more happiness?! We all deserve to be happy, so if something is upsetting you or preventing you from feeling good, get rid of it! It no longer serves you. It’s no longer beneficial to your existence and has instead become a hindrance. It’s time to feel great and let the world know you feel great. It’s time to break away from the herds of sheep! To feel the way you want to feel and following through with feeling that way is the ultimate way to live because feeling great will only attract more great things to your life. It is law. So ask yourself; how do I want to feel?
If you are in a particularly low state of being, we need to get deeper and ask ourselves why this is?
- Get a pen and a notepad. Its time to get deep. Take a few deep breaths to get in a more relaxed frame of mind. List any and all things that are making you feel bad/sad/low (energy drainers). This might be a particular person, it might be your job, it might be because you feel unloved or lonely, perhaps you are over worked or have an overwhelming amount of responsibility. Whatever makes you feel unhappy or is keeping you feeling AMAZING, write it down. Get it out!
- Now you are going to look over the list and draw an asterix/highlight all the things you can change immediately. example 1: you’ve just found out that your boyfriend has betrayed your trust by secretly meeting another girl/texting another inappropriately/cheating on you. none of these things are acceptable ways to be treated as its disrespectful and dirty behaviour and naturally it will make you feel crap. There is nothing else to think about or talk about, end it. If you are living together, there may need to be some adjustments for a while but stand your ground because you will feel way better for it once its all over. This might be a big step but it can be done today if need be. Just ask yourself this question: ‘Do I want to continue feeling bad, unhappy, unworthy, insecure, never good enough, like a mother, second best, unpretty, unimportant, useless, pressurised’? No. No one deserves to be treated this way. Example 2: After meeting friends over the last few months you are returning home feeling unworthy, insecure or worse. Whatever the situation may be, it sounds to me like you need to have a chat with them. This is something you can do now. The worst thing to happen is that they don’t want anything to do with you. If that’s the case, they obviously weren’t worth your time or energy anyway and this will be yet another blessing, trust me! Maybe disconnecting is just what you needed to do. Get as much of the negative emotions rid from your life as possible and you will be far better off.
- The only items left on your list without an asterix should be things that maybe take a little more time to conquer or require other steps in order to get the ball rolling, such as a new job or career. For these things I would suggest making another list with steps you can take from today that will bring you closer to that new job or career, such as applying to university, hiring a babysitter, job hunting and so forth. But for instant change, focus on your priority list to start making a change immediately to how you’re feeling.
- Now its time for action! Anything you highlighted/asterixed in your list can now be worked towards. There must be something you can change now in order to lift your mood. Make the call, dump the undeserving of your attention boyfriend, apply for the job, hire the babysitter, make the move, ask the guy on a date, disconnect, take the leap and make change happen. Without action nothing can change. There is such a thing called the law of cause and effect and if you do a little research on this, it will make this task a little easier to do and you’ll have a deeper understanding. Click here to read more about the law of cause and effect in a previous article.
Be done with fitting in among the ‘fine’ crowd and be done with people or situations that are keeping you there. Step into your true self proudly. Don’t be a sheep, be human. Just remember, it doesn’t matter who you are, how you are feeling or how you answer to a greeting, people are going to judge you anyway but at least give them something to talk about. Then don’t stress about it because that’s their karma. I’d rather you were not the sheep that follows the crowd to ‘fit in’ or appear to be ‘normal’. I’d much rather you be your elated version of self and be judged for it or accepted for it. Being honest is way more interesting! And after performing this task make sure to BE REAL the next time someone asks you how you are, because tomorrow you will feel better than you did today. Enthuse! You will have officially taken a path towards growth.
Another solution I can offer you in terms of growth is personal one to one coaching. If all you need is someone to talk to I can be that person and if you’re looking for bigger, better experiences, I can give you the assistance you need for that too. I’m just an email away… firstname.lastname@example.org for more info or enquiries.
I truly hope this article has been of assistance to you. I’d love to hear how this guide worked for you. Blessings!