Dating etiquette

Categories:Body, Dating
Charlene

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Calling all single men and women! Here are some questions for you. How do you feel about dating in the 21st century? The computer age where everything is online. Does it feel a little competitive? Almost like you have to advertise yourself as a product and give your best sales pitch in order to bag yourself some attention?  Are you actually dating or do you think that online dating for example has helped it become a little too easy for both men and women to skip starters and jump straight to the dessert menu? Doesn’t it lack a little excitement for you? Does it make you feel good? Do you feel as if your chances of meeting a genuine partner are slim?  Have we all lost our class and self respect and do we even care? It appears as though we have forgotten about how exciting it is to actually get to know someone before throwing our clothes to the floor. Remember the feeling of suspense and anticipation, the build up to finally becoming intimate with a person you’ve been thinking about for however many weeks? Isn’t this what it’s all about? Do people even date anymore with the intention of finding a partner or is it all simply a game in order to have a quick and easy fumble?

Never give up hope. Maybe what needs to happen is to get outside the comfort zone of quick and easy online dating if this is your usual approach to meeting people. There are numerous ways to meet people whatever your schedule or lifestyle may be. Start a new hobby, get a gym membership, go to church, try a new bar at the weekend instead of going to the same old places, take a different route to work or join a meet up group. You don’t need to be restricted to online dating. It also seems many of us have lost our dating mojo and it’s time to get it back. We need to stop settling with less than what we want, this surely can’t be satisfying?! We are forgetting how unique we are and how good it feels to be treated with love and kindness. Assuming you are dating because you’re looking for that special someone to share your life with but have had zero success in your dating life so far, consider these factors:

As a woman, don’t you want to be romanced, wooed and swept off your feet? Are you in the habit of selling yourself short and believing that if you become intimate with your date early on, they’ll surely want more to do with you? Please remember that men are from mars!! Are you giving men a chance to impress you or are you making things too easy for them? Do you really want to be dating men who obviously just want to get into your knickers? Don’t you want to be treated with respect and made to feel special? To be liked for who you are? Is he making an effort? Are you really only dating for a quick fix or do you want love?

Male or female, if you choose to date, your first date night could and should look something like this:

  • The guy should pay for the first date. If he has asked you out, then this date is on him. He has offered to treat you, allow him to take you out. If he suggests to go Dutch, he can’t afford to take you out and is probably regularly on Tinder!
  • Let him wear the trousers. He should also decide on what you are doing and where. He asked you out so let him think about where he’s taking you and how he’d like to spend his time with you.
  • Accept a compliment. your date needs to make you aware that he/she is happy you agreed to meet them by saying something flattering or by expressing an admiration. Receiving a compliment will make you feel good and will reassure you that you are liked and vice versa.
  •  No sex talk. If either of you bring sex into a conversation on any of the first few dates, there is only an interest in one thing and there will only be a thought of you in one way. You don’t want to go down that route if you are dating with the intention of finding something a little more sturdy. Send them on their way and don’t see them a second time.
  • He must be a gentleman and you must be a lady. It is not old fashioned for a man to treat you with some common curtesy. To hold open a door for you. This is basic gentleman skills. It’s a sign he has good manners and respects you.
  • He will get you safely home. A guy must, must, MUST make sure the lady gets into the first taxi, regardless of the “no I’ll be fine” demands . If a guy leaves a girl to sort out her own way home, he is  not concerned for her safety and just plain rude! Ladies, take no risks and just get your butt in the taxi!
  • Let him call you. If a guy likes a girl he’ll be in touch sooner rather than later. However, it’s nice to show your gratitude whether you’d like to see him again or not, so send him a thank you message.
  • They must be available. If you’re dating a guy or girl who is married, still attached to an ex, is not willing to take you out in public or date you in the evenings, or maybe they can’t take you to a particular venue because of a silly drama in their life then this person is unavailable and does not deserve your time. Let them deal with their situation and if they like you, they’ll work on tying up their loose ends and get back in touch with you once  everything is in order. It would be selfish of them to bring you into their drama and keep you from other potential dating opportunities.
  • A gift. Ok, a guy can’t go wrong with flowers but perhaps that’s a little over kill for a first date. Instead it’s nice that either person brings a small gift or token of thought. Perhaps your date mentioned in conversation that they love maltesers? Take them a bag! Something small. It’s a positive sign that you pay attention to each other. It’s not a necessity to any date but rather like a bonus that will work in your favour. Everyone loves a gift and likes to know they’re thought about.

This blog was written with the intention to inspire and encourage women from all backgrounds to maintain self respect and  stay true to  their core values. Hopefully this also gives the modern man a little heads up on proper dating etiquette, an easy guide on how to win the affections from the apple of their eye. Treating a girl with respect and kindness will never go out of fashion! Good luck to all single girls and boys on your dating quests and thanks to all the genuine gentlemen out there who totally have it nailed and are getting feminine hearts beating again. Peace out.

2 Comments

  1. james
    jamesReply
    January 25, 2016 at 11:19 am

    I decided to give this a read to support a friend and also just to see what the world says to the dating scene
    I feel internet dating, social media etc has taken away from people talking face to face and actually meeting up, but it does have its good points, Maybe for people who find it hard just to start talking to men & woman or find it hard in social situations it gives them a confidence that they may not find whilst they are out with their friends or other people

    Every woman should feel romanced on the first date and every man should want to make the effort. Too many men and woman out there are just looking for a quick thing no strings attached and that can be misleading when dating online.

    Every single one of your points to a first date is spot on. Im going on 30 and these things were ingrained into me as a child/teenager growing up and really anyone who wants to make the effort will do this every first date but hopefully in only takes one 😉

    As you say at the bottom there is a group of people (men and woman) out there who have manners and date etiquette down and well done to you all…….to the rest of you hurry up!!!!! Etiquette and manners have been around for centuries surely we should have it down by now no?

    P.s. Thanks for this Char i brought this up as a topic of conversation at work and it has caused a very heated debate which i am now trying to mediate X

    • Charlene
      January 25, 2016 at 11:36 am

      James, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. It’s great to hear a guys opinion on the subject. Hope you get that heated debate in order, Would be interesting to know what other women at your work have to say about it too though, particularly the independent types.

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