I’m a cue ball?!
Yesterday was interesting, I met with a friend whom I haven’t caught up with in some time for a catch up coffee date. Edinburgh was so cold and we’re not even in the minus yet. As usual I’m not dressed for the weather because I want to believe its still warm outside so a hot mocha is exactly what was needed to warm up my numb body! My friend and I got to talking about our strengths and how we should use them in our love life. He pointed out to me that I’m a very sociable person but not to mistake this with being a party animal. I seem to have the ability to easily communicate with all sorts of people from all different back rounds. Regardless of a persons age, whether they are 16 or 90, I am likely to light up their evening with my cheerful, fun banter. Regardless of a persons gender or personality, I tend to fit right in and put people at ease in my company. I kind of knew this anyway, I hear it a lot but he put it to me a little differently, he referred to me as being a cue ball on a pool table; I am given the ability to push all the other balls into their holes. I do see this as a strength in other areas of my life but I can see where I’m struggling in terms of relationships, I’m more often than not the more dominant character, the leader when really maybe I need a pool cue to take the lead role, take charge and wear the trousers. Will that make my life a little easier or am I likely to get agitated?! That is the question! Maybe actually the answer is to meet another cue ball? Balance is key right?! Someone who I can grow with. I am usually drawn to younger men and this is probably because they keep me feeling young and they don’t seem to take life too seriously, (and not because of the baby faces at all!) however, young men have never truly fulfilled me from the inside which turns me into a nag and with the feeling of being more like a teacher or mother than a girlfriend. Deep down I truly desire to meet someone who doesn’t need the recipe for how to date, treat or please a woman, just a man who has already acquired those skills and could maybe teach me a thing or two! I’m not normally single for long but haven’t been dating at all since August and chose to focus more on my self-development. I still have a short way to go on becoming the person I want to become but maybe I’ll get back into this dating thing and be more particular about the types I agree to meet. Apparently I need to UP my standards and meet people who have something to offer me for a change. I’m definitely not a settler of second best (most likely the reason why I’m single), my friend advised me to change my environment, to be more aware of my surroundings and if it’s my usual, comfortable place then I should simply get uncomfortable and change location and step into a different zone. Change my habits! It’s strange to hear this advice when normally it’s exactly like something I’d advise! Amazing how profound it is to hear a friend send back to me my own advise! So perhaps the ‘look out’ is on for a fellow cue ball while I continue to develop into the best version of me. Time to get uncomfortable! This is where the unexpected happens. Watch this space!