I’m not single, I’m in a relationship with my goals


I love me time

I’ve been completely single now for the last five months but this has not been a problem, in fact, quite the opposite. I achieve so much more while I’m on my own and I really enjoy it but I am aware that this is not the case for everyone. My trick is to make a pact with myself to just focus on me. If I can make myself happy and love myself, I’m more likely to stay happy when I’m in a relationship and I’ll attract the right people into my life and be able to give so much more to my new partner. Throughout the last five months I have been in a relationship with my goals and continue on a journey to become my greatest self. if you are unhappily single right now, or just out of a relationship, stop moping around and give yourself the attention you deserve. It’s time to focus on you! Here are a few of the things I have done and that I suggest you also do while single. In this life you wont regret the things you do, you’ll only regret the things you didn’t do:

  1. Get into the best shape of your life. Get fit and get healthy. Become the vision of health you have always wanted to be. You have time for you because you’re alone and there’s no time like the present. This will increase your confidence and self-love.
  2. Learn something new. Find a new hobby or interest, one you enjoy and remain focused on your new activity and get good at it. Chances are you’ll meet new people with similar interests.
  3. Stand on your own two feet. Gain some independence so that when you are ready to meet someone new, it’s not for the reason of needing something you believe you cant get or do on your own. Make sure to realise that you are capable of doing and achieving all the same things any other man or woman can. Earn your own money, live on your own, get a driving licence and learn to change a tire!
  4. Spend more time with friends and family. This way you will never forget that you are loved and appreciated for simply being you. Also, when you do meet that special someone, time with your loved ones will deplete naturally as you divide your available time between them and your new partner.
  5. Begin to check off your bucket list. There has to be something you’ve always wanted to do that maybe you felt you couldn’t while in a relationship. You’re free now to crack on with it!
  6. Go on holiday ALONE. I actually did this in August. I went to morocco for a spa and yoga retreat and this truly cleared my head, soothed my body and gave me new, clear goals for my future. It gave me time to think and get clarity on what I truly wanted to do with my life. I had so much time to work on me from the inside out and to completely please myself. I had no one to answer to, wait on or to compromise with. Sheer bliss!
  7. Learn to love yourself. Get to know yourself and accept yourself for exactly who you are. If there’s something you don’t like about you then work towards changing it. No one else can do that for you and if you cant love yourself, you cant expect anyone else to love you.
  8. Conquer a fear. This will give you a great sense of pride and achievement. You will also gain confidence and bravery! Both great assets to have in any relationship
  9. Travel! Go see the world, learn new things and meet new people. You don’t have to be in a relationship to enjoy the world!
  10. Learn to cook at least three meals very well. This way, when you start dating again you’ll have at least three dates covered! And you know they say the best way to a mans heart is through his stomach right?
  11. Please yourself and be selfish.  At the moment you only have yourself to think about and keep happy. Indulge! Buy yourself your favourite flowers, take advantage of the quiet moments you have to read a book and enjoy a cup of tea and why not run yourself a candle lit bubble bath! Go shopping and fill your wardrobe with new clothes and shoes! Allow yourself to feel worthy!
  12. Become the best partner. You want to attract your dream man so why not adopt all the traits your dream man would have? This way you’ll also become quite a catch!
  13. Move to a new place. Being single offers you freedom to do whatever the hell you like, no questions asked. So why not relocate to a new city or even better a new country? Start a new life elsewhere, with new people, opportunities and different cultures. Oh the perks!
  14. Change your image. If you have ever wanted to cut your hair short and dye it rainbow colours then try it now because you only have yourself to satisfy and no one else’s opinions to put you off or hold you back. You may attract a new kind of attention!
  15. Flirt flirt flirt! It’s fun and nothing else has to come from it unless you desire it to.
  16. Manage your money. Open a savings account and commit to putting an affordable amount into it each month and simply save for those Jimmy Choos you’ve had your eye on for months or to set up your future.
  17. Take out the trash. Remove all the things or people in your life which no longer serve you. By that I mean anything that doesn’t make you feel good. Maybe the people you spend time with tend to make fun of you? Don’t allow them any more of your time or energy. Bad habit? replace it with a good one.

You are worthy and deserving of happiness and true love but learn to love yourself and your life even when you are on your own first and the rest will fall in line. It is a truly valuable lesson to learn.


  1. Amanda
    December 1, 2015 at 10:21 am

    Absolutely this!!! Well done amazing article and really rings true x x

    • Charlene
      December 5, 2015 at 2:31 pm

      Really glad you enjoyed it and I hope you can apply it to your life. I appreciate the feedback 🙂

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